Smoking Portraits

Carelessly Introspective

She wanders around the city carelessly introspective.

-“Wow, you’re smoking hot” she might overhear while not really noticing. Her train of thought stays on course as if on tracks. 

She knows it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t touch the soul of her interests and it would fade away in light of her true self. 

If she were to let someone in, even into the first perimeter of her self, they would soon realize it’s her mind what’s really smoking away from words and adjectives. 

Her thoughts, like smoke, ascend lightly, undefined into random entrancing paths and shapes until they become senseless and vanish.

She is different, you can see that now on her skin, how could you miss it before? 

Your focus was on your own desire and expectations. 

Now you look at her, she is no longer hot, but rather she is burning into ashes, her wild mentality consuming her down to the ground carelessly introspective.

Solo Explorer

You will never be fully not alone. 

The sooner you accept this fact, the better.  There’s just no way you can share it all, to pour every inch of your soul, to sketch every second of your story, to make your whole self transparent and then transfer it to someone else. 

Even if this was somehow possible,  you will not be able to find someone capable of absorbing and lugging it all. Even the most loving and selfless being in the world, even someone with the genuine will to do so, could not do it. And that's fine, that’s not the point anyway. 

You and only you will funnel your entirety. You yourself are in a constant journey of getting to know yourself, learning to love and taking care of yourself. 

Growth comes from that and with growth: A new you. 

Now, you have to re-learn it all for this new version of you. This cycle starts over and over, it goes on incessantly. 

So, fall in love with the solo trip babe. Share what and if you want and desire. 

But mostly, give yourself time, time to smoke your cigar, (or whatever brings you joy) and wander…  Wander those lonely night streets of your mind. 

Boundaries Death

We grow as strong as we are able. We thicken our edges to protect us from trespassers, to guard our epitome.  

But we do this, also, to minimize the degree of affliction to be endured. 

To build these boundaries might be helpful but not if we build them as walls. 

Them-and-us need to be permeable. 

There will be light, pure, and positive souls floating around us and a wall will impede the possibility of them entering us.

Also, all the toxicity that one accumulates won’t have a way out. 

Then, it will take a breakdown, a breathtaking wrecking moment of punching holes through those walls to enable it to come out. 

Or, more rarely, an immensely glowing and convincing soul.

Don’t create walls, arm your skin. Be permeable, without losing your limits.